Finding Your Strength
by CrushedSoul12
Summary: Willow's world had come crashing down in an instant with one phone call, having to deal with something she thought she would never have to face, at least not at that exact moment. Where will she turn when her world starts to crash and burn? Sometimes finding your own inner strength is the only thing that will save you in the end, but she will need help getting there.
1. Crashing

As Willow got off the phone she could barely catch her breath. She never thought that this day would come. She didn't know where to turn or what to say. Her thoughts began to spiral so far out of control. Why was this whole mess suddenly on her shoulders? Why was it up to her and why her past being was dragged out? She had to ask herself "Where am I going to find this strength", but she also knew the answer was simple. I have to protect my niece at all cost. She needed to save her from the hell that she had gone through growing up with her mother and step-father since the age of 14. It wasn't like she was being given a choice either. Tears started to escape. She got up from her desk and got out of the house. She made a mad dash she couldn't breathe. She found herself in central park reflecting near the fountain.

As a woman came up behind her she freaked and jump. The lady looked at her "Sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to startle you. I was just stopping for a moment while walking my son, letting him throw a penny into the fountain." The lady noticed the tears falling from her face. "Hey, are you ok?"  
>Willow looked back up at her "I'm sorry ma'am, but with all due respect, I don't know you."<p>

Olivia held her hand out, "I'm Olivia Benson and this is my son Noah."  
>Willow cautiously shook Olivia's hand, "Nice to meet you...I guess. "<p>

"So would you like to talk about what's going on, I mean you don't have to"  
>"Sorry ma'am..." The woman spoke up. "Please call me Olivia."<br>"Olivia, sorry but no. I have to figure this out for myself."  
>"Well I do some outreach work, here is my card if you ever need to talk."<br>As Olivia walked away she began to break and cry even harder. She couldn't keep herself together. She had to get up, she didn't want to make a scene. She made her way back home, her husband would soon be off work. She didn't want him to know what was going. He already didn't really know how to help her with everything else that was going on but was trying to be there for her the best he could. Willow knew this. She carried herself to the bathroom and cleaned herself up. She looked down and her phone it was her husband ringing in.  
>"Hey baby what you up to?"<br>"Nothing went for a walk, now I'm just watching TV."  
>"Hey listen the boss is making everyone work over night I will be home in the morning?"<br>"Are you SERIOUS?!" Willow knew she didn't want to be home alone all night.  
>"I know it sucks, but at least its overtime pay."<br>"Truth. Hey baby I am going to get off the phone. I got something's I need to do around the house, I love you"  
>"Love you to I will call you later." They both hung up.<p>

Willow decided the best thing to do was to keep herself busy so she started cleaning the house. For the next two hours she was cleaning everything. Making sure it was spotless. By the time she finished she was exhausted. Too tired to think. So she laid down and slept for hours.

Willow heard her phone buzzing on her nightstand, she popped one eye open and grabbed it. She saw her best friends face on the screen, "What Chloie?"  
>"What's your problem?" Chloie said on the other line.<br>"I was kind of sleeping." Willow said.  
>"Well, I was just calling to check on you. I know you told me to leave you alone but I wanted to make sure you were still alive." Chloie said.<br>Willow felt bad after Chloie said that. "Coco I'm sorry." She said. And she really meant it. Sometimes she didn't know how else to handle things except push the ones closest to her away.

"Whatever, you know what? One of these days you're gonna push me away and I'll actually just leave." Chloie said. Then she hung up.

Willow stared at her phone in disbelief. Would Chloie really just leave after everything they had been through? They were best friends. She immediately called Chloie back and started to freak out when she didn't answer.  
>"Chloie?! What did you mean by you will leave?! You can't leave me! You're my best friend. Will you call me back?" Willow finally decided to leave a voicemail.<p>

Willow stared at her phone in disbelief. Would Chloie really just leave after everything they had been through? They were best friends. She immediately called Chloie back and started to freak out when she didn't answer. "Chloie?! What did you mean by you will leave?! You can't leave me! You're my best friend. Will you call me back?" Willow finally decided to leave a voicemail.

Willow was having a hard time coping she, was pushing every one away. She didn't know what was going on with her. Everything was falling apart. As she tried to fall back asleep she couldn't all she could do was toss and turn. She knew her husband when he got back home was just going to sleep because he had to go right back out to work the next night. She felt so alone and didn't want to be. She got herself up out of bed. Made a pot of coffee to numb her hunger out. After she flicked the coffee pot on she went into the living room and started flipping through channels but couldn't find anything good, "Fuck it!" she said out loud. She switched to Netflix instead. Maybe I will just watch my favorite movie The Nightmare before Christmas. She started the movie and went to go get her cup of coffee and cigarettes in the meantime. When she got back to the couch she began to think about the lady she ran into earlier that day. She thought about calling her, she just needed someone to talk to anyone but it was the middle of the night. Before she could realize what she was doing Willow found herself looking at Olivia's business card and dialing it on her cellphone.

"Olivia Benson"

"Hi, Olivia...this is Willow...we met in the park today and you gave me your number. I'm sorry, it's late. I just needed someone. I've pushed everyone away and...I don't know. I'm sorry." Willow rambled. She was about to hang up when Olivia stopped her.  
>"Willow, of course I remember you. What's wrong?" Olivia asked sitting up in her bed. "I did say you could call anytime."<p>

"Can we meet up somewhere, wait that was stupid for me to ask you have a son."

"Let me tell me you what, why don't you just come over to my house?" Olivia said. It was late and her nanny was not going to be able to come over. But Olivia heard this girl's soul crying out for help and she wasn't going to ignore it.  
>Willow was shocked. Was this woman for real? They had just met and she was already being invited into her home?<br>"Are you sure?" Willow asked. "I could just meet you later at any of the Starbucks..."  
>Olivia chuckled. "Yes, I'm sure. Just come over please."<br>"Ok. What's your address?" Willow asked grabbing her phone and opening up her GPS.

Willow grabbed her keys and went to her car. She was shaking from the frigid air. As she got the car on she blasted the heat. She hooked he cellphone up to the car so the GPS could talk to her through the speaker and she wouldn't have to keep looking down and possibly get into a car accident. She made her way to this woman's house. All she knew was she answered her cries for help.

She pulled up to Olivia's house but she was struggling to bring herself to get out of her car. Her heart was racing and she felt a lump growing in her throat.

Olivia peeked out of the living room window and saw a car she didn't recognize and knew it was Willow. She watched as the girl sat in the car several minutes and decided to call her, "Are you going to come in?"

"I...I...yes" she stuttered to find her words. Nothing could be worse than what she was going through and already dealing with. She got out of her car and locked the doors. She began to shake as the frigid winter air met her skin. He body had grew weaker and couldn't very well regulate her own body temperature from the not eating and only living off of Diet Coke, Cigarettes, and coffee. Before she went in to calm her nerves she lit up a cigarette.

Olivia opened the door and unlocked the screen door, watching as the girl smoked her cigarette. She could see how thin and tired she looked from her porch. She told herself to take it easy and earn the girl's trust. Before she decided to go "Olivia Benson" on her.

As Willow took the last drag and bent over to put it out she felt a wave of dizziness come over her. She stood back up and flipped around to see Olivia. Willow had to grab ahold of something before she fell. She gathered herself. She then continued to walk into Olivia's house. Olivia looked at this frail lifeless girl "Sweetie are you ok?" "Yea I'm must have dragged and puffed on the cigarette to hard. You know what they say puff, puff then pass." Trying to lighten the mood.

"I don't smoke, so I wouldn't know..." Olivia said. She knew the girl was lying. She looked as if she suffered from an eating disorder and Olivia was trying to figure out which one it was. Anorexia? Bulimia? Both? She couldn't be sure and she wasn't going to force the girl to tell her anything. Not yet anyways.

Olivia looked at her. Her heart began to break. "So why don't you tell me what your comfortable sharing?"

"Well I'm not exactly sure where to start. It's like all these thoughts are so jumbled in my head. They are swirling and I can't put my words in order."

Olivia nodded in understanding. "I get that. Why don't you just start with whatever you're thinking about right now?"

"That my life is so messed up and nothing is going to be ok. So much was just thrown on my shoulders and it's come down to me having to do this thing and I can't let myself go to that place again" Willow took a breath after she got all that out. It was like all the words just fell out. "My niece, I just, I can't let her be hurt like I was. I can't, I just I don't know what to do. I went to meet with victim services and they lady talked to me she didn't know how to help me so she brought in this social worker and this is all so confusing but I know what I have to do and it's not like I have a choice." Willow looked down. She couldn't believe that all of that just came out.

"What's the main thing holding you back?" Olivia asked. "From what I gather, you're doing this to protect your niece. What's going to be your punishment? It's obvious you're scared because you feel as if something bad is going to happen to you if you go through with this."

"It will ok, it's so hard to face, it's like I reached out to where I needed to go and they couldn't help me. Punishment WW3 in my family, you have no idea what their like. My aunt and uncle are dragging everything out from my past and I'm left to talk about it because I can't like, it's turning into this custody battle over my niece." Willow couldn't breathe she needed a moment to herself. "Olivia where's you restroom?"

As she reached the restroom and closed and locked the door her breathing got heavy. She bent over and purged what was in her stomach. She looked in the mirror. Gathered herself and walked out. Her eyes were still a little puffy and red, she made sure to keep her head down. When she got back to the couch Willow pulled out a piece of gum and popped it her mouth.

Olivia noticed right away that Willow was pale and her eyes were red rimmed when she came back into the room. "Are you alright?" She asked softly as she watched her pop the gum into her mouth.

Willow looked at Olivia and if it were possible, she got paler. "Yeah! Yeah, I'm good..."

"Are you sure? Cause I thought I heard you puking in there..." Olivia said.  
>Willow got a "deer-in-the-headlights" look on her face. "I didn't ok. Look I have to get going, it's late and I'm sure you have to work tomorrow..."<p>

"Fair enough, would you be willing to meet me for lunch?"

"Look I don't even know where you work." Willow said nervously. She didn't understand why the woman wouldn't just let her leave.

"Special Victims Unit, 16th precinct."

"WHAT?!" With that Willow had no words and left.


	2. Chapter 2

**TW: SH & ED**

**Chapter 2**

Willow got home, all this drama kept running through her. She couldn't stay calm and didn't know how to cope. She was still home alone. Her husband didn't get off until 7am. Everything was spinning around her. She knew one way to solve this even though her coping skills were not the healthiest. She walked in her kitchen and began to raid it to see what she could use to numb herself out.

She stumbled upon a bag of cheddar and sour cream ruffles, opened it and starting eating chip after chip. Before she knew it the bag was empty. She decided she wasn't full enough so she looked around to see what else she could find. In the back of the freezer, she discovered a tub of strawberry cheesecake ice cream. She grabbed a spoon and sat down on the couch with it and started eating.

She scraped up the last bit of ice cream and licked the spoon clean. She looked at the empty bag of chips and empty ice cream tub and started to panic. She ran to her bathroom, bent over her toilet, flexed her stomach muscles and watched as everything flowed out of her. Then she used her fingers to make sure everything was out of her.

When she brought herself back up, it was like everything was ok for that moment. She could breathe and think clearly for just that moment. She cleaned up, made sure all signs were clear of what she had done. She barely had it in her to crawl into the bed. The minute her head hit the pillow she was out. So emotionally exhausted.

When Willow woke up she realized her husband was laying next to her. He was knocked out. She knew we wouldn't be up until dinner time. Willow didn't want to disturb him so she slowly crawled out of bed.

She trucked her way into the kitchen and flipped the pot of coffee on, she decided that today was going to be a fasting day.

After her third cup of coffee she checked her phone and saw several missed text messages and a few calls from Chloie and Olivia. She ignored Chloie's messages and opened the text thread between Olivia and herself.

"Olivia, I'm sorry I almost forgot about our lunch. I'm gonna be a little late." She text the detective.

After she texted Olivia she made a quick call to Chloie. "Hey, I missed texts and calls from you, whats up?"

"Oh, I don't know haven't heard from you wanted to make sure that you were still kicking." Chloie said with a bit of attitude.

"Welp Im pretty sure you can hear me breathing, what are your plans for the day? I have to go meet this Olivia lady for lunch." Willow said.

"I have to work until about 3." Chloie says.

"Well, I better let you go so I can meet her and get this torture over. Try to avoid eating at all cost, water for me!" Chloie and Willow both couldn't help but giggle.

"Anyways call you in a few. Love yah bye"

After Willow hung up with Chloie she got dressed. Really she just threw on the first things she grabbed. Then she hopped into her car and headed off to meet Olivia for lunch.

When she got there, she walked in and sat at the table across from Olivia.

"Sorry I'm late."

"It's ok. I waited to order until you got here." Olivia said, putting her phone down on the table next to her glass of water.

The waitress came up to the table. "What can I get you ladies?"

Willow spoke up "Just ice water for me thank you."

Olivia looked over at Willow "Are you sure your not hungry?"

"Yes..I ate before I came."

This wasn't the first time she had heard excuses like this to not eat.

Olivia went ahead and ordered her lunch "Just a burger and fries please."

The waitress finished writing it down "I will have that right out."

While they waited for Olivia's food to come out, Willow kept checking her phone. She knew the woman was on to her and she would be fucked if she figured it out. She didn't want help. At least not yet anyway. She was determined not to get too close to the woman because she knew she would be burned in the end.

"So, how have you been?" Olivia asked.

"I've been fine." Willow lied.

"Are we going to talk about what happened the other night at my house.?You never told me what was wrong." Olivia said.

"No, I'd rather not talk about that right now." Willow said. She had to shut the woman out. She didn't understand why she was trying so hard to be let in.

Olivia looked at Willow "Hey, I'm not here to hurt you, I am here to help you. I'm not going to turn my back on you. It's going to be ok, please just talk to me sweetie."

Willow looked down and contemplated what the woman had just said. She wasn't sure if she believed her or not.

Olivia spoke up once more, "I know trust is a big thing for you right now. I promise confidentiality. Please let me in. I want to be here for you."

Willow thought about it for a moment... "I...I...I need to use the restroom" tears were about ready to fall. She didn't understand why someone would want to help her so much. In the mean time her phone kept blowing up. Everyone was slamming her with texts messages pulling her in every direction. She just couldn't think straight. When she got to the restroom she sat in the stall. She contemplated cutting. She dug into her purse and pulled out a sharp object, She lifted up her sleeve.

Back at the table Olivia became worried she didn't know what was taking her so long. She had been gone almost 7 minutes.

Olivia wondered her way to the restroom after the food came to the table. "Willow sweetie?"

Willow lost her breathe. 'Shit!' she thought to herself. 'What am I going to say now?' She didn't think this woman would follow her to the restroom.

"Hang on a minute." Willow cried.

"Willow?" Olivia called. Willow put her feet up on the toilet lid so she couldn't see what stall she was in. "Willow, please talk to me."

"I said hang on minute!" Willow whimpered.

Olivia became really concerned. What was going on that Willow didn't want her to see?

Olivia peeked under every stall and didn't see any feet. So, she started pushing open the stall doors until she got to the one that wouldn't open. She pressed against in. "Please, Willow let me in. I just wanna help you."

"Give me a minute..." Willow cried. She applied pressure with a piece of toilet paper. She dug for a Band-Aid and finally found one. She tried to put herself together before opening the stall, what she didn't know what that she forgot some on the floor that had drops of blood on it.

When Willow opened the door, Olivia took in her tear stained face and wondered why she was holding her arm. She ignored it for the moment and pulled Willow into her arms. "What's wrong sweetie?" She asked.

Willow struggled against Olivia, trying to break free. "GET OFF!" She shouted. She punched, cried and pushed but Olivia wouldn't let her go.

Olivia grabbed her arm, Willow became wide eyed, "No! you can't its nothing." Willow said trying to pull her arm back. "Willow I already know, I saw the tissue on the floor with blood drops on it." Willow looked down, she was ashamed and embarrassed this was supposed to be her secret, hers and only hers. Willow thought for a moment "At least I still have my eating disorder." Before she could realize it she had said it out loud.

"I know that too. You left some puke splattered on the floor in my bathroom." Olivia said with a raised eyebrow.

'Shit! I thought I cleaned that up.' Willow thought.

Olivia looked up at Willow, "I know you feel ashamed and embarrassed but I can get you help, you don't have to fight this alone."

Willow wasn't sure what to say. She looked down at her cell just any excuse to leave "Olivia I have to go, you go enjoy your lunch, I have to tend to my husband. He will be waking up at any moment and he has to work tonight. I need to spend time with him and make him dinner before he leaves." With that Willow tried to make her way out of the bathroom.

Olivia spoke up " Well I am coming with."

"Wait don't you have to get back to work cause your like a sex crimes detective or something all big shot." Willow snapped.

"Listen here smartass, not up for argument, I can easily make a call to my detectives" Olivia shot back.

"Fine, whatever." Willow said with a sigh. She didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

On the way out Olivia paid her bill and took her lunch to go.

Willow couldn't figure this woman quite out, or why she even cared so much.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Willow tried to lose Olivia on the way to her house. It was like the woman was up her ass and around the corner.

Olivia followed behind Willow closely. She knew the girl was trying to lose her, so she practically stayed on her bumper.

Willow pulled into her driveway and groaned when she saw Olivia pull up onto the curb. 'Dammit! This woman just won't fuck off.' She thought. She got out of her car and rushed ahead to unlock the door. "It's kind of a mess, sorry." She said.

"I don't care. I have a son. My house is always a mess." Olivia said with a laugh.

"Well come in then." Willow said. She opened the door and let Olivia walk in before she did.

"Hey Liv, we have to keep it down my husband is sleeping."

Olivia looked back at Willow, "That's fine."

Willow thought a moment before she spoke, "Why did you want to come back to my house with me?"

"Honestly, because I was worried and I want to keep an eye on you." Olivia said.

"My husband is home, I wasn't going to be alone." Willow snapped. She was starting to get irritated. She wasn't use to this. Before she could stop herself more came spilling out of her mouth. "Well, I'm not your child I already had a set of parents and a Step-Dad in my life and they fucked that up, I'm doing just fine on my own!"

Olivia's heart ached for this girl.

Willow became more frustrated and she felt herself starting to get hot. She went to pull her sweater off ,as this was happening Olivia looked over to her. This girls bones protruded. She was painfully thin.

Olivia finally spoke, "And you call what you're doing to yourself just fine?"

Willow clenched her teeth together as she felt herself about to say something hurtful. Instead she said, "Well, it's not like I asked you to come over. You invited yourself!"

"Why won't you just let me help you?!" Olivia shot back equally annoyed.

"NO ONE CAN FUCKING HELP ME!" Willow shouted.

Before Willow could think straight she heard her husbands alarm go off for work "This conversation is not over!" She shot a nasty glare to Olivia.

Before willow went down the hallway "Oh, I know trust me smartass, wait till your husband leaves for work."

Willow started to swear under her breath.

She stomped down the hall and slammed her bedroom door behind her, effectively waking her husband since the alarm wasn't doing it. He jumped up and asked her what was wrong. She was short and snappy with him. "Look, just get ready for work ok? I have a guest."

"Okay babe, It's going to be okay, I know it may not feel like it but it will." As they both wondered out into the hallway into the bathroom ,Olivia heard her husband ask her "Did you eat today?"

"Of course babe. Breakfast and Lunch"

Olivia chuckled under her breath "You little liar." Olivia heard the shower turn on and sat on the couch until they made their way out. "Babe you going to get in the shower with me?" "Nah Ima just sit on the toilet and talk to you."

As Trace finished up. Willow stepped out. "Babe I'm going to go make you something quick, you are running late and your boss is an asshole." She ran into kitchen and threw together a bag full of food. Trace came in not too far behind after her. "Trace this thing is Olivia"

"Hi nice to meet you"

"Nice to meet you to, be safe on your way to work."

"Oh I will"

As she gave Trace a hug and a kiss goodbye, she flipped around. She pulled her sweater off, 'might as well' She thought. 'Not like I give a damn if she see's my bones.'

Olivia spoke up "So want to talk about that little lie you told your husband about eating?"

Willow shot back "So want to tell me how this is your business?"

"Someone has to make it their business." Olivia shot back.

"Gawd! You're like the stray pet that was fed once and now you won't go the hell away!" Willow shot back.

"What else do I have to do to get you to trust me! I didn't say anything to your husband like you asked!" Olivia said.

"I don't trust anybody." Willow enunciated every word.

"There has to be someone you trust..." Olivia said in disbelief. She couldn't believe the girl was all alone in the world.

"Again, why is my life your business?" Willow said.

"It's not, I give you that, but there was something about you, your body language cried out that day at the fountain. As for all your other words, all I have to say is are you done yet? You look like your dying!"

"How the hell would you know that I look like I'm dying?! Do you know my weight? No you don't. Do you know what my levels look like? No you don't!"

Olivia could play this game, "No I don't but a trip to the hospital can fix that."

Willow was coming to her limit and all of a sudden the room was spinning. Her legs became unsteady. She started to sway and Olivia saw this. She went right into action and caught her and helped her to the couch. Olivia sat in front of Willow, "Listen look at me, look into my eyes and breathe."

Willow did just that. When her breathing became normal she didn't know what to say.

Willow finally got a few words out, "Seriously why do you care so much, everyone has thrown me out like trash except for my husband. He tries to help me, but can never really say the right things. My friend Chloie is there for me but she struggles to."

"Ok, but hear me out. I'm not them. Those people that threw you away. I'm not them." Olivia said looking into Willows eyes.

"I also don't know anything about you except that you're a cop. I don't trust cops. They never did me any good before." Willow said softly.

"What do you mean they never did anything?" Olivia asked softly.

Willow looked down "I don't want to tell you, your a sex crimes detective, If I tell you aren't you obligated to share my business?"

"Willow, I have to ask. Has someone raped or assaulted you?" Olivia asked.

Willow froze. She knew she had said too much, but every time she was around this woman she kept saying things she didn't mean to say. It was like the woman had cast a spell on her.

"yes.." Willow felt ashamed. "I..I.." She tried to take off for the restroom again.

Olivia saw her get up and the direction she was headed in. "No Willow."

Olivia grabbed her around the waist and held onto her. "Talk to me. Please, please just talk to me." She begged.

"GET OFF ME!" Willow screamed.

"No!" Olivia yelled back.

"I don't want to talk! I want to make myself throw up!" Willow said. Tears were falling down her face without permission. Damn this woman.

"Sweetie, look at me, there is nothing in you. Will you please go to the ER to be checked out? That's all I ask. Your pale, weak, dying thin."

Willow submitted. "Fine"

Before she could say her next words her husband rang "Trace" Willow could tell he sounded upset "Babe whats going on?"

Trace spoke up, "while pulling staff duty the srgt came up to me .We are deploying." "TRACE NO! Don't leave you cant."

"Im sorry hunny its my job."

Willow began to weep. This wasn't happening. Fuck the hospital she didn't want to go she just wanted to be alone.

Just then she received a text from Trace, "We have to be at the airfield strip by 6pm 2mmrow"

Willow couldn't believe it, this was happening too soon, she knew it was coming just not this soon.

"What's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"It's Trace, he's being deployed tomorrow. I'm going to be alone!" Willow said.

"We just got married!" She said. Tears started to fall.

Olivia really didn't know what to say. "Look lady please just go I need to be alone, Im going to be alone for months anyways."

Willow opened the door and looked at the floor while she waited for Olivia to leave.

"Willow, I won't let you be alone ok? I'm going to give you some space because I have to go home to my son, but we will be talking again really soon." Olivia said sadly.

"Ok"

With that Olivia took off. She knew Willow didn't believe her but she was going to prove herself.

Willow had to go make sure Trace's things were in order. Everything packed and ready to go. Tears fell as she packed his things. She didn't know how she was going to make. Deep down she knew she was sick. She was dying thin. This is his job however. She had to put on a face and be the proud army wife.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

For the first two weeks after Trace deployed no one heard or saw Willow. She closed herself off and purged from the time she got up, until she went to bed. When Chloie came by she pretended like she wasn't home. She wouldn't answer her calls or texts.

Olivia was fed up. She had tried calling again, but the voicemail box was full. On her lunch break she headed straight for Willow's house. She wasn't leaving until she talked to her.

"Willow, I know you're there. Open up!" Olivia said after pounding on the door for the third time.

"I will break your door down if I have to!" She called. Still Willow wouldn't reply. "Ok, I warned you." Olivia said. She braced herself against the door, lifted one leg and kicked the door in. The house was a mess.

"Willow? Where are you?" Olivia asked. She walked through the house searching every room until she found her in her bed. She placed her index and middle finger on Willow's pule point and breathed a sigh of relief. "Willow, wake up." She said softly. She shook her shoulder.

"Olivia? The hell are you doing in here?" Willow asked weakly. She was so exhausted. She just wanted to sleep.

"I'm here because you've been ignoring me and pretending you weren't home for the past two weeks. By the way, I owe you a new door." Olivia said placing her hand on Willow's forehead. She was burning up. "C'mon you're going to the ER." Olivia pulled the covers off the girl and easily lifted her in her arms, heading for her car.

"No...no..." Willow was muttering. "I don't need to go." She was in and out of it. Olivia couldn't believe how frail and light she was. She cared way to much about her. She was not going to let her die, not on her watch.

"Too bad, you're going and that's final." Olivia said, using a tone she uses for Noah quite often. She placed Willow in the passenger seat and buckled her in. "I need you to stay awake." She raced to the hospital, turning her sirens on.

"Willow sweetie stay with me, you can do this, fight, find that will to fight, your husband needs you, Chloie needs you, I need you."

Olivia burns rubber into the hospital parking lot. She grabs Willow and her body feels even hotter. She races through the hospital doors, screaming "I need assistance now, 26 year old female, barely conscious, her whole body burning up!"

The nurse looks at her "Ma'am whats your relation to this young lady?"

"Im her mother" Olivia spoke up. She knew this wasn't true but she wouldn't have been able to get information other wise. she had started to care for this girl as if she was her own.

The nurses started ambushing Olivia with questions but all she could say was, "I don't know. We've just recently been reunited." They seemed to believe her and focused their attention on Willow.

A couple of hours later...

"Ma'am, I'm Dr. Jacobs."

"Hello." Olivia shook the woman's hand.

"I'm glad you brought your daughter in when you did. Her body was shutting down." Dr. Jacobs said.

Olivia gasped, "Oh my God..."

"We're doing all we can right now, to get her levels under control." Dr. Jacobs said. The pair of them headed for the elevators.

"Dr. Where are we going? Is she dead?" Olivia asked, tears starting to fall.

"No, I'm sorry for scaring you. She's not dead. But she would have been in a very short amount of time. She's very sick." Dr. Jacobs said. She opened the door to Willows room and ushered Olivia inside. "We had to give her a light sedative because she kept trying to rip out her IV's, but she can hear you." Dr. Jacobs said.

Olivia rushed over to Willow's side and grabbed her hand. She looked back over to the Dr. "Thank you." She said.

Olivia walked into Willows room. She wanted nothing more than to go home. The doctor walked in behind her. Dr. Jacobs wanted to talk to the both of them.

Olivia went to Willows bedside. They had a heart monitor hooked up to her. It scared her how slow it was. Dr. Jacobs cleared her throat. "Willow when you got here your body was burning up. You had self-inflicted cuts that became infected. Your body is so close to shutting down, your mother did the right thing by bringing you in." Willow looked over at Olivia and Olivia winked at her.

"That being said, Willow, I am going to be keeping you here in the Eating Disorder unit for a week. We need to get your levels under control." Dr. Jacobs just lowered the boom.

Willow tried to sit up but she was too weak. She fell back against the pillows. "No, you can't keep me here! I'm a grown ass woman!"

"While you were out we called in a social worker and deemed you a danger to yourself and your Mom was made power of attorney." Dr. Jacobs said.

Willows eyes widened and she shot a glare at Olivia. This couldn't be happening!

"Willow... the doctor continued," You're really under weight. Your organs cant function properly." Olivia began to cry. She was losing her.

Dr. Jones pulled Olivia in the hallway to talk to her more in detail.

"The more she purges the weaker her heart becomes." Dr. Jacobs said.

"So what happens at the end of the week?" Olivia asks.

"We put her on a strict outpatient program and start getting her healthy again." Dr. Jacobs said.

Dr. Jacobs continues "In the mean time she needs as much support as possible. It says here that she is married, where is her husband?"

Olivia looked up at her. "He is military, he is deployed in Iraq right now."

Dr. Jacobs became speechless. "This has got to be hard on her. I know it is. In the mean time she needs you right now. This is going to be a battle for her life. She cant do this alone. With her husband being gone, it will make it so much harder on her without you there. We are going to need to NG tube feed her while she is here to get her weight up quickly. She needs this to save her life. She needs the nutrients or she will die. Can you please sign these papers? I will tell you this, she will fight, she will fight hard. She has been in this so long she is in denial. It will be hard getting the tube in but this will save her."

"I'll sign whatever you want." Olivia said reaching for the papers.

Dr. Jacobs handed her the papers. Olivia signed it and they walked into Willow's room. They were prepared for massive outbursts.

Olivia walked next to Willows bed "Sweetie, you're about to become pissed and I know this. But we have to give you an NG tube I don't want you to die. Without it, your body will continue to shut down and I don't know if you will still be living by the end of the week."

Willow became wide eyed "NO...Please!" Olivia put her hand on her head. "I'm sorry this is necessary."

The nurses came in not too shortly after to begin the procedure. Willow began to resist and fight the most she could in her state.

But, by the time it was over she had a tube up her nose ending in her stomach and she had nutrients going into her whether she wanted them or not.


End file.
